I'm home in Miami staring out at the sunshine as it hits various parts of the Live Oak trees below my son's apartment. I flew down with no problem on a fast direct flight, went to an awesome beautiful wedding in Coral Gables and towards the end I began having that dry cough that is part wheezy and part premonition that you are getting sick and not all is well in the world. I bought cough syrup hoping it would numb my cough some and make me feel as if I really wasn't sick but that illusion only lasted until a headache set in and the fever began to climb. I don't usually wear sweaters up north when it's cold, but I put one on because the AC suddenly seemed frigid and the sweater felt warm and cozy. Spoiler Alert here in that the fever climbed last night to 101.7 while on tylenol and I felt as if I might die or something as all those news stories on the Flu suddenly danced in my head. I took those Ibuprofen you get with a prescription that usually knock anything out, didn't worry it would bother my stomach and went to sleep. My daughter mumbled something about maybe taking a cool shower or bath and I smiled thinking how cute it was all those things I told her over the years really took root. But, there was no way I was getting out of bed and all I wanted to do was sleep.
I woke up this morning with a lower temperature of 100.6 and it's been falling slowly all day so I think I'll live but just in case I felt like it was good to share my thoughts.
It's not really horrible feeling horrible as it puts you in an odd, surreal mindset where you almost enjoy the pain and weakness and every little action around you is observed, studied and wondered on ... it forces you to stop running and just let things glide by you. It's sort of like a "Hall Pass" where the teacher writes you are going to the library, but if you get lost along the way you are okay because you have the "Hall Pass" that is like a get out of jail pass in Monopoly. When I was in High School my best friend and I actually owned a "hall pass" pad with our teachers name stamped on it as we were considered "smart" and "goody too shoes" and if we needed to go to the library that was obviously where we were going to go. Our "library" was sitting under the coconut palms on the school lawn writing poetry and sharing literary thoughts outside the walls of the library; we did have the "hall pass" should we need but we never needed it as no teacher would ever second guess what we were doing. We had it good in that school, we pretty much owned the school, the teachers and most of the boys in the school; we also owned those beautiful palm trees. Once obnoxious girls came by and asked what we were doing just sitting there and without missing a beat Linda said, without looking up, "we're in the library" and I nodded without looking up. They asked if we thought we were funny. No, we thought we were smart and they were boring and jealous and we obviously were near the library and we were doing literary things.
See this is why being sick is sometimes good. You remember these odd scenes from your life as if your life is passing before your eyes but you have total control over when to stop and where to take control of the direction of the ride. When sick I often think on Linda, Harvey and Stuart who all died way too young and left me to fend about for myself without their wisdom and humor. And, it's also a free pass not to feel you "havta do something" because all you havta to do is rest and get better. My adorable daughter-in-law always texts the word havta and it always makes me smile.
It's kind of an altered reality where the revery is only interrupted suddenly by spasmodic coughing that makes your side hurt from using all those coughing muscles and then you remember "you're sick with something serious" and then you forget until you cough again in another five minutes. Maybe I'm a bit high on cough syrup but oddly this is the one trip I took that I didn't take my bottle with a little bit of codeine cough syrup and I don't think the Musiciex Man is all he is cracked up to be.
My eyes feel warm, my head is slightly sore and my neck is recovering from a sledge hammer headache and my only real concern is that I didn't give this my kids where I am staying. If I'm gonna be sick I'd rather be sick in Miami and stare out the window at the sunshine than Raleigh where it's really boring. I'm sorry, it's true. Raleigh is nice and friendly and there isn't much traffic but it's also boring. Nuff said on boring topics.
I missed the Super Bowl and I don't care one bit. I was dancing at a wedding and enjoying the music and memories before the cough began and sidelined me until the next NFL season for worrying on football. The thought of watching Tom Brady win again was enough to make me not feel sad I'd miss a classic commercial that I can find on YouTube anytime and why do we watch football games for commercials? I did watch the halftime show with a really wonderful French lady who moved to Miami nine years ago and who I hope I did not give the flu to. Most all halftime shows look the same was my initial thought.
I'm in that time of year when the football season is over and hurricane season is still months away and I need to find something to do without getting bored or nasty or antsy or dangerously restless or depressed. I love football, but I would really prefer a winning season. Genealogy is good but the wall beyond my Great Grandfather seems hard to penetrate and really they are all dead does it really matter? I've solved most the mysteries my mother longed to find and I can't tell her because she's dead and no this not a morbid thought it's just a true and honest thought. She wanted desperately to know where her grandparents came from and now I know so I finished that project of hers and will leave it to her descendents to do with what they want to do ....
As my brother Jay says #IMWRITING and that's all that matters. Free train of thought and speaking of trains there are two trains that run near this apartment and they sound their whistle regularly and I'm an avid train lover so rather than be annoyed I ingest every soulful, long whistle and smile as the train rushes off on it's way.
My best friend always says "it's a virus" whenever you are sick, feverish, tired, achy or listless and that's good because you never hear statistics of people dying on the nightly news from "a virus" unless you are watching some crazy Science Fiction Movie where a "Virus" is spreading and often it came from an alien planet out in the solar system. A virus is a better word I think than "sick" or "bit by the bug" and it infers it will up and leave as fast as it arrived.
I have places to go and people to see. Some grandchildren who are aging quickly, some children who have already aged and who are fun to be with and a best friend who I need to see when I am better and don't worry on getting her sick with a virus. I came on a one way ticket, I have no idea with I am going back or how though I'm toying with the train. I feel like everytime I fly I get sick; all that air being recycled in the small little seats that are small for a small woman who is barely 5-2 and basically it feels like a flying cattle car; at least we are allowed to sit vs stand. Air Travel is not what it was when they gave full meals and sometimes slipped cute teenage girls a small bottle of wine when you flew from Miami to New York on Eastern or National Airlines. We had it so good back then, who knew they would take full meals away and replace them with a bag of pretzels, nuts or blue potato chips. I want to see Miami Beach and Bal Harbor and walk around Aventura while I am here as well as wander through downtown Miami taking in the library or history museum maybe. But in truth just lying here is the best vacation I can have watching my youngest two kids who are really young adults do ordinary things that seem extraordinary because they are my youngest two kids.
Surrendering to being sick is a sudden, necessary luxury to savor in a way as there is nothing I havta do right now other than write, read, Google and research those things you have been trying to do but could not do because there was a long to do list you had to take care of while doing things you don't really want to do.
What do I really want to do?
Would I tell you and put it in print for someone to read?
No, I don't think so as I'm way to secretive with my Venus in Scorpio Square Pluto in Leo.
But I'll admit there are dangerous thoughts ripping through my mind right now and I'm not yet sure how to implement them. Until then.....I'll take some more Mucinex because I have discovered I'm better off with the Mucinex Man than without him and as Scarlett once said after all tomorrow is another day!
Besos BobbiStorm
Ps ...watching the sunlight dance on the Live Oak outside the window and the beautiful thin pine leaves of the tall Australian Pine tree that are the most graceful of all pines... more like weeping willow branches attached to a tall pine tree near the Enchanted Forest.
Nice commercial but I'm pretty sure that woman snuggling with her sick partner is gonna be dancing with the Mucinex Man sometime real soon...
https://www.ispot.tv/ad/7YzZ/mucinex-dm-cough-a-cabana
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